‘Strong and stable’ – Tories launch own condoms to have Priti safe sex while ‘unleashing Britain’s potential’
“I Never kissed a Tory but I’ve had safe sex with one” reads a new condom that a group of Conservatives plan to launch at this year’s party conference, taking place this October.
The LGBT Tories say the condoms will help their fellow members to have Priti safe sex during the event as they will help to ‘unleash Britain’s potential’, as another condom reads.
Another condom reads ‘Labour is not working but this condom will (99 per cent of the time the time)’ while others have been personalised for openly gay Tory politicians, Pink News reported this week.
LGBT+ Conservatives chair Elena Rose Bunbury said that “party members’ hormones are in full bloom, with the taste of liberalism on their lips, and capitalism in their hips. They are ready to create the next generation of Brexiteers and Liberalism enthusiasts in the microclimate of Conservative Party Conference.”
“With the smell of STIs and unwanted pregnancies in the air, we are tackling the conference sex drive head-on, with their unique, patriotic approach to safe sex.”Tory member Elena Rose Bunbury
Some of the personalised condoms include Northfield MP Gay Sambrook’s ‘Strap it for Sambrook’, which is expected to be a hit, while Darlington MP Peter Gibson’s ‘Glove it for Gibbo’ is another one in the one-off Tory condom range.
Tory can also opt to use London Assembly chairman Andrew Boff (‘Boff it up’) or Emma Best, also a member of the Assembly, with her ‘Ban for Best’.
Nick Roger, the London Assembly member for Hounslow, Richmond and Kingston, also features in the series of condoms, with a ‘Roger for Nick’.
“Those who want to get their hands on the condoms free of charge can grab them at LGBT+ Conservatives’ ‘Queeries Bar’ in the main conference hall of the Birmingham ICC,” Bunbury concluded.