Wednesday 22 January 2014 9:20 am

The book Goldman Sachs doesn’t want you to see

It’s official, the person behind @GSElevator, one of the greatest spies to come our way since 007, has got themselves a book deal.

The anonymous tweeter, who claims to give the world snippets of conversations from the Goldman Sachs elevator, has wrangled a deal with publisher Simon & Schuster.

Here are some recent examples of the artist known as @GSElevator’s work:

#1: Some chick asked me what I would do with 10 million bucks. I told her I'd wonder where the rest of my money went.

— GS Elevator Gossip (@GSElevator) November 12, 2013

#1: I start every cell conversation with 'my phone's about to die' so they don't waste my time.

— GS Elevator Gossip (@GSElevator) September 19, 2013

The title currently being bandied about is: “Straight to Hell: True Tales of Deviance and Excess in the World of Investment Banking” and the author won’t simply be weaving some of the best tweets together, but writing a tell-all account of his time at Goldman Sachs.

According to the pitch it’ll be, "the definitive exposure of investment banking culture today." Not exactly music to chief exec Lloyd Blankfein’ ears as he settles in at Davos.

It’s been likened to eighties paperback classic Liar’s Poker, Michael Lewis’ account of his time at the Saloman Brothers. In a note to Business Insider, the author explained a little more about his sudden calling to non-fiction:

Yes, these are my stories, but it’s not just about me. It’s about the guys in black tie at the Robin Hood Gala, the best and brightest, the guys you want your daughter to marry, the personification of hard-work, success, and respectability. That person is more than what they seem, they're also is part of the dark, dysfunctional, and deviant side that permeates Wall Street to its core.

Ouch, sounds like a best-seller in the making.

I don't necessarily aim to change anyone's perceptions. After reading what are a collection of very funny and entertaining stories, people can draw their own conclusions.

The news will be welcomed by @GSElevator’s 601,643 followers (Goldman Sachs only has 122,707) including Marissa Mayer, Vanilla Ice and Twitter chief executive himself Dick Costolo.

Costolo must be pretty proud – a multitude of book deals have gushed forth from the springs of Twitter, including @shitmydadsays (also a TV show), the great parody account @50ShedsofGrey and of course, @GusTheFox to name but a few.

And when can we expect to get our grubby mitts on a copy of the book? It’s expected in October of this year and will be published under the pseudonym “J.T.Stone.

Before you ask, there doesn’t appear to be anyone working at Goldman Sachs with that name, there is however a prolific erotica author with that moniker. Make of that what you will.