The Capitalist: Next Pope odds, ChatGPT etiquette and miserable Brits

Next Pope odds, ChatGPT etiquette and miserable Brits; catch up on the latest City gossip in this week’s edition of The Capitalist
Cashing in on Catholicism
If you thought the death of the Pope was of no consequence in this godless City, think again. It may not have moved markets but that doesn’t mean punters aren’t cashing in on the Pope’s passing. Not only has it been a boon for Amazon Prime, which coincidentally started streaming Conclave for free from Tuesday, but also for bookies, who have been quick to allow punters to bet on who the next Pope will be.
Ladbrokes PR manager, and Catholic, Cal Gildart told The Capitalist that, while perhaps not one of their most popular markets, people had already begun wagering on the next pontiff, continuing a good ol’ tradition predating 1503, when there were the first recorded bets on the outcome of the Conclave. At Ladbrokes, there have already been enough bets to move the market. “When the book opened, Pietro Parolin was 2/1, and he’s shortened slightly to 7/4. Luis Antonio Tagle briefly went neck-and-neck with Parolin at 2/1, but he’s back to his starting price of 3/1,” Gildert said.
“Parolin is probably seen as a frontrunner as something of a beacon of stability for the Catholic Church. His views, as well as those of Tagle, echo the more liberal approach to the papacy of Pope Francis, who appointed the majority of the next Conclave. So it feels as though he’s played some role in his successor’s identity,” he added.
Gambling on papal outcomes remains illegal in the US and Papa Francisco himself would likely disapprove, having previously commented on the “havoc” caused by “financial speculation fundamentally aimed at quick profit”. While Pope Gregory XIV forbade all betting on papal elections in 1591, the law was abrogated in 1918, meaning Catholics can now bet without fear of excommunication.
While all names currently in the hat are cardinals, it is worth noting that all Catholic men are technically eligible for Popehood. In 1294, a Benedictine hermit was elected after writing to the Conclave telling them to hurry up; in return they elected him against his will, prompting him to quickly pass a new rule allowing papal resignations, which he then promptly used for himself.
DO FORGET YOUR PLEASE AND THANK YOU
Parents chastising their children that good manners don’t cost a thing may wish to caveat such wisdom with “unless you’re talking to ChatGPT”, with Open AI CEO Sam Altman last week admitting that please and thank yous could be costing the platform tens of millions of dollars – though he said that was money well spent. Courteous Brits are likely to agree, with 71 per cent endeavouring to always be polite to AI, according to research by Future, many out of “fear of future consequences”.It comes after the billionaire CEO previously asked ChatGPT users to “please chill on generating images” after a trend to make images in the style of Studio Ghibli put “biblical demand” on the platform.
WORKER WOES
Anyone who does the daily shuffle onto the Waterloo and City Line will hardly be surprised to find out British workers are sad, but they could be a little moved to find out they’re officially the second saddest in Europe, beaten only by Northern Cyprus. That’s according to Gallup’s annual global workplace poll, which this year placed Brits among the saddest, loneliest and least engaged workers on the continent. Meanwhile, Europe as a region was found to have the least engaged workforce in the whole wide world. And who’s to blame? Your boss of course, with the report citing stressed-out managers, and their resultant bad managing, as the primary cause of employee disengagement.
It’s not all bad though. While the report found Americans to be the most enthused about work (surprise, surprise), they’re also the most stressed, knowledge that Brits can comfort themselves with as they doomscroll, tears in their eyes, during another day at the office.
HOLD YOUR HORSES

That the date of St George’s Day had this year been moved to next Monday mattered not to the City’s morris dancers yesterday, who regaled onlookers regardless with bells, handkerchiefs and reckless abandon at Leadenhall Market.
By decree of the Church of England, any saint’s day falling in Holy or Easter week is moved to the week after the Easter fortnight, usually to the first Monday, presumably to allow for extra pomp and festivities. Same again on Monday then?