I recreated all my favourite TV tropes, from crawling through pipes to being two kids in a trenchcoat
Guilty Ashley issues apology for relegation ‘catastrophe’ May 26, 2009 NEWCASTLE owner Mike Ashley last night sensationally apologised to the club’s fans for the mistakes which led to the “catastrophe” of relegation from the Premier League. The sportswear magnate issued a club statement acknowledging the errors of his ways which contributed to the club’s losing their top-flight status after 16 years. At the same time, [...]
Ashley wallet suffers due to relegation May 25, 2009 SPORTS Direct owner Mike Ashley’s fortune looks set for another battering after the football club he owns, Newcastle United, was relegated from the Premier League. Ashley’s club stands to lose at least £30m a season from a drop in TV revenue which will wipe millions off the value of the struggling north east outfit, in [...]
ASHLEY’S TOON REIGN May 25, 2009 June 2007Ashley buys Newcastle United for £134m, greeted with a level of scepticism unusual for a buyout. January 2008Brings back local hero Kevin Keegan to manage the club in a blaze of glory. September 2008Keegan exits the club citing “interference”. Ashley faces a huge backlash, prompting him to announce his intention to sell. Autumn 2008Joe [...]
Elliott worth his Wade in gold May 25, 2009 BURNLEY miracle-worker Owen Coyle hailed his “magnificent” side after Wade Elliott’s wonder goal earned the Clarets promotion to the Premier League – and a £60m fortune. Elliott’s outstanding long-range effort put the seal on a pulsating Championship play-off final with Sheffield United at Wembley and finally brought an end to the Clarets’ 33-year top-flight exile. [...]
Shearer the man to get us back up, insists Duff May 25, 2009 NEWCASTLE winger Damien Duff insists temporary manager Alan Shearer is the best man to drag the club out of its malaise and back into the top-flight at the first opportunity. Shearer will meet Magpies owner Mike Ashley for talks later this week before a decision is made on his future, but the former England captain [...]
Strachan tipped to head south after quitting Celtic May 25, 2009 GORDON STRACHAN was last night installed as the red-hot favourite to take charge of Sunderland after resigning as manager of Celtic. The former Scotland midfielder was already in the frame to replace Ricky Sbragia at the Stadium of Light, but his odds were slashed after confirming the end of his four years in charge at [...]
Tigers are no match for United’s champion cubs May 21, 2009 HULL CITY VS MANCHESTER UNITEDSUNDAY 4.00PM, SKY SPORTS 3 JFK, Roswell, Princess Diana. Could Hull City v Man United become the next conspiracy theory on Sunday? Sir Alex Ferguson seems certain to field a ‘weakened’ side and any of Middlesbrough, Newcastle or Sunderland could be relegated if the champions are beaten by Hull. The only [...]
Under-strength team controversy fans flames before relegation D-Day May 21, 2009 IT IS worth at least £30m to clubs, is the difference between heartbreak and sweet relief for fans, and will probably decide the fate of at least two managers. With so much riding on the Premier League survival scrap, it is little wonder that emotions are getting heated ahead of Sunday’s showdown. Debate has centred [...]
Fergie will not be doing any favours May 20, 2009 WHEN Sir Alex Ferguson sits down to pick his team to visit Hull City for Sunday’s season finale, you can rest assured that the plight of Newcastle, Sunderland and Middlesbrough will not be entering his thought process. With the Champions League final against Barcelona just three days away, you can perfectly understand Fergie being deliberately [...]
Shearer turns to Sir Bobby to halt slide May 19, 2009 ALAN SHEARER admits he is seeking advice from fellow Newcastle legend Sir Bobby Robson in plotting the club’s Premier League escape route. The Magpies make the do-or-die trip to Aston Villa on Sunday needing a better result than either north-east rivals Hull City or Sunderland to retain their top-flight status. Shearer, 38, is serving his [...]