This Valentine’s Day’s most unromantic gestures
It’s the day before Valentine’s Day. Millions of people are no doubt racking their brains to think of something romantic to do for their loved one, manically typing “Valentine’s ideas” into Google and hoping some fresh idea will have appeared since they first Googled it this morning. The weather’s too bad for a romantic walk, all of the best restaurants are booked up…
Well, have no fear folks – we’ve found the solution.
What says, “I love you” more profoundly than a financial compatibility test?!
Yes, thanks to SavvyWoman.co.uk you and your loved one can take the test together to make sure you’re a financial match in heaven.
The test will level all sorts of cuddly questions at you both such as, “Are you able to compromise on how each of you spends your money?” and this verbal aphrodisiac, “Do you split the bills in a way that you each think is fair?”
“Showing your partner your bank statement and credit card bills probably isn’t top of most couples’ lists of romantic gestures this Valentine’s Day,” says Savvy Woman founder Sarah Pennels. (No kidding). “But many relationships are failing because couples just aren’t open about money.”
Who needs Paris when you’ve got pensions?
If that’s not enough, we’ve gathered together some other lovely Valentine’s ideas for your convenience (but mainly amusement).
Why not wake up to a bowl of love porridge?
"Morning glory" sex porridge has been delivered to City AM towers. Contains herbal viagra pic.twitter.com/1avo5CMT23
— Peter Spence (@Pete_Spence) February 13, 2014
The canny people at FUEL YOUR 10K HOURS (yes, that’s the brand name) have developed the most romantic breakfast cereal known to man, cunningly titled Morning Glory. It’s apparently the world’s first performance enhancing porridge.
“The ultimate in on-the-go breakfast for early risers, the ‘sex pot’ contains added protein, fibre and herbal Viagra to keep busy commuters energised all day. It’s also packed with whole juniper berries, whose juices are considered to naturally improve stamina.” Wahey!
According to the release, someone has even tried one of the bowls of steaming hot love.
“I’m a big fan of Fuel products and never one to pass up a challenge, I took a couple of spoonfuls and was pleasantly surprised at its fruity taste. After a couple of minutes I felt a huge surge of energy and needless to say it wasn’t just the porridge being stirred.” Wow.
Follow in Casanova’s lovesteps and embrace pesto on Valentine’s Day.
It seems the world’s most famous lothario was a fan of pine nuts and used to “swallow 100 every night before bed.” With that in mind, planning a night in and making pesto together is surely the sexiest thing imaginable.
“Cooking delicious food with your soul mate, glass of wine in hand, is the perfect backdrop to romance, foreplay, after-play or even in-between play!” says Mary Balfour, MD of dating agency Drawing Down the Moon.
“Pungent, sensual basil, which has a long history of reputed aphrodisiac qualities, is of course the main ingredient of pesto.”
Not sure how to go about creating your own pesto love factory? You can get all of the instructions at Drawing Down the Moon.
If all of that hasn’t turned you right off the idea of celebrating the day, here are a few nice stats brought to us by the people at Nutmeg.
1. Women are seven times more likely than men to stay with their partner for too long due to financial worries.
2. One in seven (14 per cent) of those divorced or separated stayed with their partner for too long due to financial worries, rising to one in five (20 per cent) women.
3. Over half (52 per cent) of women in relationships would be concerned about supporting themselves financially after a breakup.
4. A third (33 per cent) of women have no retirement savings and a quarter of women will be reliant on their partner’s retirement pot.
“Everyone should focus on having sufficient retirement savings in place to support themselves,” says Nutmeg chief executive Nick Hungerford.
“It’s not particularly pleasant to think about it but you never know what may happen in the future and our figures show that many are reliant on a partner’s income.”
Which brings us neatly back to pensions again…
Happy Valentine’s Eve everyone!