If the Premier League did Black Friday: 12 bargain buys including Manchester United’s Memphis Depay, Chelsea’s Diego Costa, Arsenal’s Mathieu Debuchy, Everton’s Aidan McGeady and others
While shoppers storm supermarkets in search of the best Black Friday deals, football managers across the country are left twiddling their thumbs with the transfer and loan (as of yesterday) windows firmly shut preventing any deals from taking place between now and January.
But what if football had its very own Black Friday? A one-off day during the middle of the season for clubs to make a quick buck by offering out unwanted stars for slashed prices.
In our imagination it would play out like transfer deadline day on fast-forward with agents working on overdrive to secure quick getaways for their unsettled clients.
Here's who we think would be up for grabs if the Premier League had its own Black Friday today, and how much they would be sold for using their market value as determined by transfermarkt.co.uk.
Leicester – Gokhan Inler
Who? One of Leicester's most high-profile summer signings, Claudio Ranieri has surprisingly found little use for the Swiss central midfielder such has been the rich form of Danny Drinkwater and N'Golo Kante.
The sales pitch: "Fancy an international midfielder with Champions League and World Cup experience not to mention hundreds of appearances for Napoli and Udinese? Course you do."
£5.25m – 25% off! Now just £3.9m.
Read more: Arsenal's Arsene Wenger compares £44m Mesut Ozil to a Black Friday "bargain
Manchester United – Memphis Depay
Who? Highly-rated Dutch winger signed for £20m in the summer from PSV where he scored 22 goals in 30 matches last season. Has only shown flashes of such form at Old Trafford. Shirts bearing his name sold like wildfire before the season began, but since then has often suffered the indignity of being hauled off after an hour for Marouane Fellaini.
The sales pitch: "Sure, performances on the pitch are something to look at. But did you know that Depay had the highest-selling shirt in the Premier League last season? The cash returns are immediate!"
£19.6m – 10% off! Now just £17.6m.
Manchester City – Wilfried Bony
Who? Joined City almost a year ago, but has done little more than establish himself as Manuel Pellegrini’s go-to option when Sergio Aguero fancies a rest. His only league goals this season came in a 5-1 battering of Bournemouth.
The sales pitch: "Not good enough for us. But then neither were Emmanuel Adebayour, Alvaro Negredo, John Guidetti, Stevan Jovetic, Mario Balotelli, Roque Santa Cruz, Craig Bellamy nor Robinho. Are they good enough for you?"
£17.5m 40% off! Now just £10.5m.
Arsenal – Mathieu Debuchy
Who? French international right back displaced by 20-year-old Hector Bellerin in Arsene Wenger's pecking order. Needs game time to guarantee place in France squad for home tournament at Euro 2016.
The sales pitch: "Like Hector Bellerin, just slower. Much slower."
£9.1m 50% off! Now just £4.56m.
Tottenham – Tom Carroll
Who? Diminutive academy graduate repeatedly continually usurped from the first team by fellow Spurs youngsters (Nabil Bentaleb, Ryan Mason, Dele Alli).
The sales pitch: "Miniature-sized, technically gifted and a penchant for keeping possession: Get your very own replica Spain midfielder in Tom Carroll today!"
£2.1m 25% off! Now just £1.6m.
West Ham – Michail Antonio
Who? Skilful winger signed from Nottingham Forest this summer but has struggled to make Slaven Bilic’s first team.
The sales pitch: "No, you can’t have Dimitri Payet. But have you heard of Michail Antonio? Does all the same stuff, just not as well."
£4.9m 25% off! Now just £3.7m.
Everton – Aidan McGeady
Who? Republic of Ireland international, likes a dribble. Injuries have left him behind Aaron Lennon, Gerard Deulofeu and Kevin Mirallas in Roberto Martinez’s preferences.
The sales pitch: "Comes with Champions League and international experience and actually averaged more chances created per 90 minutes in the Premier Leauge last season than Ross Barkley, Adam Lallana, Ashley Young and Wayne Rooney. Get him while he's crocked."
£3.15m 30% off! Now just £2.2m.
Southampton – Gaston Ramirez
Who? Uruguayan playmaker who was Southampton’s record signing when he arrived in 2012, after impressing for Bologna and his country. Has largely failed to make an impact on the South Coast and fared little better on loan at Hull last season.
The sales pitch: "Spurs and Liverpool wanted him once upon a time. Apparently."
£3.5m 80% off! Now just £700,000.
Liverpool – Jose Enrique
Who? Spanish left-back and one of the few surviving members of the “signed by Kenny Dalglish” club at Anfield, although that hasn’t always been for the lack of trying from Liverpool’s transfer committee.
The sales pitch: "Plenty of experience. Could do worse."
£2.1m 75% off! Now just £500,000.
Read more: Liverpool managers' transfer spend in one chart
Crystal Palace – Mile Jedinak
Who? Steely centre-midfielder voted Crystal Palace player of the year following their promotion in 2013. Has consistently been one of Palace’s best performers since their arrival in the Premier League and would surely be a shoo-in for most teams trailing them in the table.
The sales pitch: “If Yohan Cabaye wasn’t so good, we wouldn’t even be talking.”
£4.2m 5% off! Now just £4m.
Stoke – Peter Crouch
Who? Beanpole former England striker. Has played just 45 minutes of Premier League football so far this season.
The sales pitch: "Start making those long balls count today!"
£1.4m 75% off! Now just £350,000.
Chelsea – Diego Costa
Who? Perma-frowned Chelsea striker with a taste for defender's ankles as well as goals. His relationship with manager Jose Mourinho is believed to have soured in recent weeks as he has struggled for form.
The sales pitch: "Add some spice to your dressing room."
£35m 15% off! Now just £29.75m.
Aston Villa – Jack Grealish
Who? Talented youngster currently out in the cold after being pictured in a nightclub following Villa's 4-0 defeat to Everton on Saturday.
The sales pitch: "Improve your team socials and get one of English football's most expensive players in one swoop."
£3.15m 5% off! Now just £2.9m.