I recreated all my favourite TV tropes, from crawling through pipes to being two kids in a trenchcoat
What the other papers say this morning – 17 April 2014 April 17, 2014 FINACIAL TIMES Knights less likely to cut jobs A group of European academics have concluded that company bosses are less likely to cut jobs to boost profits if they are in line for an honour, for fear of drawing the ire of politicians and the public. The study looked at companies in New Zealand, which [...]
Google’s results disappoint as ad fears weigh April 16, 2014 GOOGLE shares dropped as much as five per cent in after hours trading last night, after its first quarter results failed to match analyst expectations. Revenues for the first quarter of the year were $15.42bn (£9.18bn), about £100m shy of what was expected, but higher than the $12.95bn reported in 2013’s first quarter. Net income [...]
IBM’s shares hit as reports lowest quarterly revenue for five years April 16, 2014 TECHNOLOGY giant IBM posted the lowest quarterly revenue in five years yesterday, the eighth in which revenues have fallen, sending its share price down after hours. Shares of the world’s largest technology services company fell about four per cent to $188.20 (£112.03) following the announcement. Total revenue for the group dropped by four per cent [...]
Bottom Line: Focus on staying number one at home April 16, 2014 BELEAGUERED Tesco boss Philip Clarke has declared he isn’t going anywhere. Unfortunately, on his watch, neither is the nation’s favourite supermarket. After twenty years of rising profits for the group, this is the second year in a row where they have fallen. Pre-tax profits were down 6.9 per cent: 7.7 per cent in constant exchange [...]
More price cuts in store as profit slides at Tesco April 16, 2014 TESCO boss Philip Clarke said yesterday he had no intention of leaving as the supermarket giant posted a second year of falling profits and revealed large writedowns across its international businesses. Dismissing reports that he was under pressure from investors to step down, Clarke said: “I have got no intention of going anywhere. All my [...]
Retail set for Easter rebirth after March footfall sees 1.8 pc boost April 16, 2014 RETAIL footfall rebounded in March, rising 1.8 per cent above levels seen in the same month last year and with high street stores seeing the best footfall in 11 months, according to data released today. Figures released by the British Retail Consortium (BRC) and Springboard today show a jump for out-of town stores and high [...]
Bank of America pushed into the red by legal bills April 16, 2014 SURPRISE legal bills pushed Bank of America Merrill Lynch (Baml) to a $276m (£164.3m) loss in the first three months of the year, the lender said yesterday. Revenues fell 2.7 per cent to $22.6bn, compared with the same period a year ago, while expenses increased 14 per cent to $22.2bn. But the main blow came from [...]
Credit Suisse joins banks hit by slump in fixed income revenues April 16, 2014 PROFITS slumped at Credit Suisse in the first quarter as the bank revealed weak investment banking results yesterday. It follows the industry trend of falling bond trading revenues – a sector hit by falling prices and tougher regulations. Credit Suisse’s pre-tax income fell 34 per cent on the year to SFr859m (£580m). Net revenues fell [...]
Paul Flowers charged over drug claims April 16, 2014 THE CO-OP Bank’s ex-chairman Paul Flowers was yesterday charged with possession of class A and C drugs. Flowers was chair of the bank until last summer, when a £1.5bn capital hole was discovered in its finances. In the Autumn a Mail on Sunday article alleged that he had been using illegal narcotics, including crystal meth. West [...]
Starbucks will move European base to London April 16, 2014 STARBUCKS’ chief executive described London as the “perfect place to grow our European business”, as the coffee giant announced plans to move its regional headquarters from the Netherlands to London by the end of 2014. “Today, our largest and fastest growing European market is the UK. As the coffee industry has grown, the UK and [...]