Any Scots want to see Ed Balls in shorts? Vote No to independence on Thursday

Gabriella Griffith
Balls chases that ball at a previous meeting
One further casualty of a potential Scottish Yes vote can now be revealed – the annual appearance of Ed Balls struggling to come to terms with a tight-fitting football shirt.

Yes, Sunday’s match between the gentlemen of the press and Labour MPs at the party conference in Manchester is likely to be cancelled by a Nationalist win on Thursday. Talk in Westminster is that if it’s a Yes, parliament will be recalled faster than you can say Tunnocks Tea Cakes.

The Labour team includes such front-bench stars as Andy Burnham, Sadiq Khan, and key member of the Better Together campaign Jim Murphy.

Rob Merrick, the captain of the journalists, said yesterday: “Frankly, the brains behind this referendum gave no thought to those of us trying to organise a football game.”

One person who is unlikely to be disappointed is Mr Balls’ wife Yvette Cooper who yearly has to wake up to photos of her husband in an unflattering pose.

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