WITTY VODAFONE CHIEF BRINGS THE HOUSE DOWN
VODAFONE almost brought the house down yesterday. Not with an announcement, you understand: literally. During a press conference with chief executive Vittorio Colao, the Vodafone stall was stormed by security and everybody ordered to evacuate.
Outside a crowd had gathered to gawp at the side of the two storey structure, which had bulged open and looked set to collapse. As forklift trucks hurried to the scene, the unflappable executive suggested the session should carry on in the street outside. He had already earned the biggest laugh of the conference when he revealed 63 per cent of people would give up chocolate for a week before giving up their phones, with 33 per cent saying they would forgo sex.
“I can’t believe so many of you would pass up on a session [insert dramatic pause] of chocolate eating,” he said, before muttering something about data penetration.