The US President is arriving on Thursday afternoon (12 July), but instead of coming to London for one of the many protests in his honour, Trump and First Lady Melania will travel to Winston Churchill's birthplace Blenheim Palace for a black tie dinner with around 150 business leaders, hosted by Theresa May.
Alongside the Prime Minister guests are said to include Sir Jim Ratcliffe, founder of Ineos, Larry Fink, head of BlackRock, and Alex Gorsky, chief executive of Johnson & Johnson.
Those who are will be treated to a military ceremony performed by the bands of the Scots, Irish and Welsh Guards. The bands will play the Liberty Fanfare, Amazing Grace, and the National Emblem. During dinner, the Countess of Wessex’s Orchestra will perform "a series of classic British and American hits".
The next day, Trump will be shown "a demonstration of the UK's cutting edge military capabilities" – perhaps as this sort of thing seems to win him over – and he will travel with May to Chequers for "substantive bilateral talks on a range of foreign policy issues", thought to include the US' unilateral decision to impose tariffs on the EU and other allies. No doubt May is eager to return to the site of her most recent Cabinet ding-dong.
Russia is also likely to come up in conversation, not least because Trump is due to meet President Vladimir Putin for their first official summit in Helsinki.
But before he flies off into the sunset, Trump will be meeting the Queen at Windsor Castle, making him the 12th US President to do so during her 66 years on the throne. She is said to have been a big fan of Trump's predecessor Barack Obama, so it's not clear how he will win HRH over. Perhaps they will discuss the manners of Chinese officials.
The Trumps will then head to Scotland where they will spend the weekend, while the UK will spend £5m on the pleasure.