Glastonbury is looming on the horizon, like a large and pale dancing man silhouetted against a set of dazzling floodlights, whose sweat-sodden skin shines and catches the light like a salmon flashing in the brook.
If you're heading there this year, or anywhere without reliable electricity, then you're going to need the right tools for the job. Here's our pick of the best festival gadgets around, from disposable phones to augmented tents.
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1. The New Nokia 3310 – £50, nokia.com
Forget lugging a power bank around and pick up the Nokia 3310. This resurrected classic costs just £50 and has a battery life that will easily last an entire weekend on a single charge. If you’re the sort of feckless klutz who never fails to lose your handset down the portaloo, or you’re worried about having your phone swiped, this disposable alternative is the way to go.
2. Beoplay A2 Active – £299, beoplay.com
Bang & Olufsen’s portable bluetooth speaker is both dust and splash resistant, so it will hold its own against a spilled pint of cider or – if you’re at a more adventurous festival – a biting desert zephyr from the west. With 24 hours of battery life, top sound quality and the ability for up to eight people to connect at the same time (no more battling for control), it’s the classiest way of bringing the party back to the tent.
3. Samsung Gear 360 – £349, samsung.com
The spherical camera design and alluringly chamfered handle of the new Gear 360 makes irritating the person standing behind you at a concert easier than ever. Just hold it up and it will record in every direction at once to create a 360-degree video that can be watched back on a Gear VR headset at home. Or at least, that’s the idea.
4. Tile Mate / Tile Slim – From £23, thetileapp.com
Attach one of these to your keys, backpack or anything else you’re likely to misplace, and you can track its last known location using your phone. Use the app to make a tile ring out, and let the audible chirping guide you back to your waylaid item. The slim version is about as thick as two credit cards and fits inside your wallet, leaving you with no excuse to ever lose anything again.
5. HP Powerup Backpack – £170, store.hp.com
Though it looks like a regular backpack, the HP Powerup Backpack is full of wires and batteries that are capable of fully charging everything from a phone to a laptop. Organised inter-pocket cable-routing eliminates tangles, and you can recharge multiple devices at the same time. Never again must you endure the horror and shame of a low battery warning.
6. BioLite Camping Stove – £135, bioliteenergy.com
Remember that scene in Waterworld when Mel Gibson pees into a filtration system to create fresh drinking water? Well replace drinking water with electricity and Mel Gibson’s putrid urine with twigs and you’ve got the BioLite camping stove. With the help of our old friend science, it converts fire into just enough energy for your phone to load a couple of Snapchats. Truly, our ancient cavemen and women ancestors would be honoured to see their invention finally put to good use.
7. Cinch! Pop Up Tent – $349, cinchpopuptents.com
The Cinch pop up tent comes with LED lanterns, LED tent pegs and light reflective guylines (useful to prevent tripping when stumbling back to your sleeping bag in the dark), as well as a solar power pack to charge all of the gear on the rest of this page. Thank you, the sun, our hottest pal.