Phillip Schofield said he has “lost everything” in the wake of his affair with a younger male colleague and told of a “catastrophic effect” on his mind.
The former This Morning presenter, 61, said the fallout from the revelations had been “relentless” and urged the media to leave his former lover “alone now”.
He said he saw “nothing ahead” of him and he had to talk about his career in television “in the past tense”.
He said: “It is relentless, and it is day after day, after day after day.
“If you don’t think that that is going to have the most catastrophic effect on someone’s mind… do you want me to die? Because that’s where I am.
“I have lost everything.”
In his first interviews since leaving the broadcaster and This Morning, he said he was “utterly broken and ashamed” but denied claims he had “groomed” the man.
The former Dancing on Ice presenter told The Sun newspaper the fallout from his secret affair had brought “the greatest misery” to his former lover’s “totally innocent life”.
And he added in his BBC interview: “There is an innocent person here who didn’t do anything wrong, who is vulnerable and probably feels like I do.
“And I just have to say stop with him, ok with me, but stop with him.
“Leave him alone now.”
He also denied there had ever been a “feud” between him and his former co-presenter and “TV sister” Holly Willoughby.
“I’ve lost my best friend. I let her down,” he told The Sun.
“Holly did not know. And she was one of the first texts that I sent, to say, ‘I am so, so sorry that I lied to you’.”
The pair had presented This Morning together since 2009, with Willoughby due to return to the show on Monday after the half-term break, having taken an early holiday after news of Schofield’s departure emerged.
Alison Hammond and Dermot O’Leary have been among the presenters hosting the programme in recent weeks.
Schofield went on to say that his “greatest apology” over the fallout from the affair was to his former lover and that he would “die sorry” for what he had done.
In a sign he believes his television career is over, he told Rajan: “I see nothing ahead of me but blackness and sadness and regret and remorse and guilt.”
He said: “I’m not in television any more, I don’t know what I am even remotely… if I get through this.
“I don’t know even remotely how I move forward… what am I going to do with my days?”
He went on: “I did something very wrong and then I lied about it consistently and you can’t live with that. How do you live with that?”
Schofield added being dropped as an ambassador by the Prince’s Trust charity “broke my heart”.
“I can’t remember how long I’ve been there,” he told the BBC.
It comes after ITV boss Dame Carolyn McCall was called to a parliamentary committee on June 14 to answer questions about the broadcaster’s approach to safeguarding and complaint handling following Schofield’s exit.
In a letter seen by the PA news agency on Wednesday, the chief executive revealed the broadcaster had instructed barrister Jane Mulcahy KC of Blackstone Chambers, to carry out an external review of the facts.
It also said the broadcaster had “reviewed” its records and said “when rumours of a relationship” between Schofield and an employee of ITV emerged, they “both categorically and repeatedly denied the rumours”.
Press Association – Mike Bedigan