A RIGHT royal washout yesterday at the third day of Glorious Goodwood, one of the City’s favourite sporting events (read: an extravagant booze-up in posh suits and frocks). The rain came down hard on several occasions, sending those who had arrived for the annual Ladies Day scuttling for cover under their hats – and huddling round jugs of Pimms to stop them getting watered down, horror of horrors.

By the end of the festival, Goodwood hopes to have lured around 100,000 guests through its gates, putting a brave face on things despite a hefty hit to corporate entz from the downturn.

“The festival has been a huge success and barely hurt by the recession,” a spokeswoman insists, before admitting that corporate sales are indeed down on last year.

Some companies were out in style as usual, of course – including the Queen’s bank Coutts, which entertained Zara Phillips and sponsored the Goodwood Cup yesterday. But I also hear some of the banks – no word on which ones, though it’s probably fairly simple to guess – decided to be prudent and take up corporate hospitality under a different guise. Sneaky.

Now, fielding attention-seeking pieces of puffery are de rigueur in this job, but the latest entrepreneur to get in touch certainly has a novel idea.

“Tired of sending boring flowers and chocolates to your loved one to mark special occasions?” the email reads. “Perhaps the answer to your gifting dilemma could be… porn?”

Raunchy. The enterprising chap in question – Shed Simove – says he’s already achieved notable success with his tremble-inducing Remote Controls for men and women (don’t ask), and is now hoping to make his fortune by sending out soft porn magazines in plain brown paper wrapping at

Simove’s catchy tagline is “Porn: the gift that keeps on giving”, though The Capitalist wouldn’t like to speculate on meaning of the latter part.

Time is running out to sign up yourself and unsuspecting colleagues for the CARE 3 Peaks Challenge, supported by City A.M. and taking place on 12 and 13 September this year.

The event will see 12 teams from across the City scaling the highest mountains in England, Scotland and Wales – Scafell Pike, Ben Nevis and Snowdon – in just 24 hours, in aid of the CARE anti-poverty charity.

The latest to sign up, joining City firms including Deloitte and Bank of America, is a spirited bunch from recruitment firm Nicoll Curtin, who are keen to encourage more contestants to sign up at

“Our team’s hiking experience ranges from a little to hardly any,” team leader Ann-Maree Williams tells me, “but we are highly competitive and we’re used to being the best. We welcome anyone who wants to give us a go!”

Looks like the gauntlet is down.

When it comes to staff motivation, I hear Ronan Kearney, the managing director of financial advisory firm Allium Capital, truly has it licked.

Apparently, Kearney’s wife runs a small baking company called “Buttercup Cakes” in the Wirral, and in order to keep up their stamina, he’s been busy feeding them up with goodies.

“What with all the hard work they are putting in and with flu buzzing around, I wanted to give the troops the best of home baked treats to keep them fit and healthy,” Kearney tells me.

Happy maybe, but fit and healthy? At this rate, the whole contingent is going to need a boot camp membership and an Atkins diet book before the year’s out.

Here’s to one of the most bizarre job adverts The Capitalist has seen in a long while. The Australian Department of Defence, according to an email doing the rounds in the City, is seeking a “highly motivated and flexible individual to fill the role of project and requirements management information management system” – otherwise known as a Tardis manager.

Surely the circa £35k-a-year role should come with a Dr Who-style sonic screwdriver and attractive assistant, quips the email…

To lunch yesterday in the heart of the City, where talk rapidly turned to elderly businessmen and their penchant for pursuing activities more suited to those half their age.

One such culprit is daredevil Geoff “The Mighty Oak” Oakley at Daniel Stewart – who even as I write is laid up in bed with a bad back after a painful accident on a jet ski.

I suppose there really is no stopping City boys being boys, is there?