When spokes meet bespoke

THERE’S a story that one of Sigmund Freud’s friends once came into a room to find the great psychoanalyst fingering an absolutely massive cigar. This caused the friend to raise an eyebrow. What did this say about Freud, the man who believed that everything had a sexual undertone?

“Sometimes,” said Freud mournfully, “a cigar is just a cigar.”

Those City chaps who carry about massive golf umbrellas with handles like Highland cabers and canopies like the O2 might shrug and take the Freudian approach when asked why they feel the need to lug about these monstrosities. But next time you get jostled by a bunch of them dripping wet rain down your collar at the traffic lights, you’ll know that there’s something going on.

Anyway, there is another way. Brollies advertising stock-brokers or Ryder Cup venues are just so depressingly un-chic.

We asked the people at Selfridges to come up with some alternatives to help you stand out while you keep dry this winter.

1. Paul Smith striped briefcase umbrella, £65

2. Undercover London fish & chips umbrella, £55

3. Fulton Knightsbridge umbrella, £32