SEASICK IN THE CITY AS BROADGATE HOLDS SWAY

CITY WORKERS in the Broadgate Tower dropped everything on Tuesday to look up the meaning of “deflection”, after strong winds made the building sway so dramatically that staff complained of seasickness.

The building may have been designed by award-winning architects Skidmore, Owings and Merrill – but when you are stuck in a 165m tower that is rocking on its foundations, all appreciation for its “stunning views” go out of the window.

Cue a hastily composed email to all staff from facilities, explaining that deflection is simply when a 30-floor skyscraper deviates approximately 30cm from its theoretical dimensions and position due to “tolerances in construction”.

Of course, developer British Land knew that all along – but the employees of Reed Smith, Regus, Gill Jennings & Every and their towermates still needed reassuring.

“It is normal to feel a slight sway on the floors,” soothed the circular message. “Especially due to the extremely wet and windy conditions we are experiencing today. If you require any further detailed information regarding deflection, please contact me.”

One final instruction: “Please report any leaks to the facilities help desk.” Does the above email finding its way to The Capitalist count?

BURNSIDE NIGHT
AN OPTIMISTIC start to the year for New Century Media, which wheeled out the champagne for its clients on Wednesday.

“Personally, I find the first week of January the most depressing week of the year, chairman David Burnside told The Capitalist over the strains of a jazz band. “So it is exactly the right time to have a party.”

Among the last to leave, however, were a couple of spinners from a rival financial PR firm, who finally exited the 6pm to 9pm gathering after midnight.

Burnside has poached the flacks to come on board his firm this month, you see, so they were simply “getting to know” their new boss over a few drinks before they start. Cheers!

GOING UNDERGROUND
THE HEDGE fund managers of Mayfair, famously elusive at the best of times, may be feeling the need to lie low after a damaging 2011.

One place you could look if you need to track down Crispin Odey and the gang, however, is the aptly named Low (above), the underground members club near St James’s that opens tonight.

Accessed through the back entrance of a restaurant and down a hidden staircase, the West End’s “best-kept secret” will have lighting so dim that even if you did stumble across a recalcitrant hedge fund manager in the gloom, you might not recognise him anyway. A case of seeing and not being seen.

PREMIERE LEAGUE
MARGIN CALL, the tale of an investment bank on the brink of collapse, is a tale of desperate people making desperate choices. But don’t let that put you off – The Capitalist has two tickets to give away to the UK premiere on Monday 9 January.

To be among the first to watch the 109 minutes of action on highly leveraged mortgage-backed securities, email the name of the actor who plays the bank’s chief executive John Tuld to karl.white@ar-pr.co.uk. It’s either Kevin Spacey, Jeremy Irons or Demi Moore.