Lord Sugar bids Auf Wiedersehen once again

SQUEALS of excitement this week as the candidates were instructed to pack a bag for a foreign trip. While everyone’s thoughts turned to beaches and suntans, Stuart wondered if they’d be sent to a warzone. While unleashing Stuart Baggs on Afghanistan is an appealing thought, I’m pretty sure the UN would class it as a war crime.

Instead it was off to Hamburg to make and sell British crisps – but the thought of travel did little to improve morale. “I hate the Germans,” grumbled Christopher. Perhaps best he doesn’t lead this time. Instead Chris nominated himself, rousing the troops with a speech that began, “I’ve lost three tasks in a row now…”

Stella lead for Apollo after being nominated by Stuart, part of a plan to protect himself. His logic wasn’t clear but he seemed very proud of himself.

Leaders in place, the next thing to choose were flavours. Joanna took charge of market research for Apollo, a laborious task involving collaring a man in a German supermarket and asking him what flavours of crisps he likes. Presumably something got lost in translation as they ended up with stilton and paprika and a ham and pickle flavour that tasted like prawn cocktail.

Synergy plumped for German classics, goulash and currywurst (the latter being so popular in Germany that a museum was created in its honour). This was as far as any of the candidates were prepared to indulge their hosts; their attempts at the language were limited to “Das ist wunderbar” and an increasingly desperate “Sprechen sie Englisch?” as they went door-to-door.

Well, some of them tried. Laura sulked again while Christopher and Jamie took a more leisurely pace, sampling the local beers and switching a 9am pitch to a much more civilised post-lunch slot.

Back in the boardroom, there was just time for Lord Sugar to expand on his concept of “export English”, whereby you slow down and take care over your words when doing business abroad. The challenge also gave this unlikely Henry Higgins some good punning opportunities; “Herr-brained” was used, but sadly no discussion of who was best and wurst.

In any case it was Chris back in the boardroom. Having lost four consecutive tasks, he looked ready to fire himself but Lord Sugar was ready to give him yet another chance and bid Auf Wiedersehen to Christopher.