Charming Carney wins hearts

Tim Wallace
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GOLDMAN Sachs bankers don’t often get a warm welcome from Labour MPs. Nor do public sector staff earning the best part of £1m.

Lauded as the greatest central banker of his generation – and, as it happens, the best looking – Mark Carney was surely in for a hard bump back to earth.

“Quarter of a million quid housing allowance? My constituents can hardly get mortgages,” came the first blow.

“Your staff are on a pay freeze – how can you justify the cash you’re getting?”

The feisty backbenchers didn’t disappoint.

“I was offered it and I accepted,” came the pleading response.

“It’s standard practice when senior execs move from a cheap city – Ottawa – to an expensive one.”

It wasn’t enough. Not nearly enough.

“Why are you only coming for five years, not the eight we wanted?”

The test of commitment. Mocking his professional dedication.

“I have a young family. It fits in with their school progress.” At which point hearts began to melt into maple syrup. Maybe we should give this guy a chance?

“So just how well do you know your banking?”

Very well indeed, as it turns out.

New ideas were gently introduced. Fears over inequality were revealed. A sympathy for the motives of the Occupiers who took over Wall Street and St Paul’s was brought into play.

The MPs swooned in response.

Stern on inflation for the hawks, enthusiastic on growth to please everyone – and downright charming to seal the deal.

Carney became a hero, approved wholeheartedly by the newly besotted parliamentarians. Hopes really are sky high after that performance.

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