BRIT MODEL PUTS HER FACE TO BIG RACE DAY

 
Steve Dinneen
Follow Steve
Investec has announced that British supermodel Erin O’Connor will become the official face of the Investec Derby Festival in June, one of the most iconic social and sporting events of the summer.

Her selection marks the first time in the race’s history that the honour has not been given to a horse racing celebrity.

While we are very much looking forward to the day at the races, The Capitalist is slightly concerned about introducing another attractive female face to a sporting event, lest any recently unemployed sports commentators attempt to “smash it”. Presumably there are a couple who have plenty of time to hang about at the races these days.

APPRENTICE MARK II
CITY trader Mike Baghdady (pictured top right) has decided to recreate the experiment in 1983 movie Trading Places by putting a giant heap of his own cash on the line. The film stars Eddie Murphy as a homeless thief, who finds his life switched with a Wall Street hotshot as part of a bet between two bored millionaires.

The theory is that anybody can excel given the right opportunities. In his version of the experiment, Baghdady will take on 10 apprentices (yes, this sounds a little familiar to us too…), from different walks of life and hand them £100,000 start-up capital.

They will then be expected to make a return for their new boss. The pick of the bunch will be offered a job. Now comes the painstaking process of whittling down the 8,000 applicants to just 10 final apprentices. So those of you who harbour a burning ambition to gamble risk-free with a lot of other people’s money (most of you, we gather), now’s your time to fill out your application in a bid to get your chance to shine.

DINOSAURS RULE
With the art of trading pretty much boiled down to writing the perfect algorithm, the open outcry pit at the London Metal Exchange – the last of its kind in Europe – reeks of a bygone era, when traders actually took lunches and looked each other in the eye.

But on Tuesday, the metal dinosaurs over on Leadenhall Street were forced to process all the exchange trading volumes for approximately an hour as a glitch in the electronic trading system LME Select meant that all business had to be funneled through the ring.

Only a decade ago floor trading was the primary method for metals business, but volumes have dwindled in recent years to less than 20 per cent of the total. Indeed, LME floor traders will be quick to point out that as long as computerised trading is not much more reliable than the Northern line, the ring hasn’t yet passed its sell-by date.

RED KEN STEPS DOWN
RED Ken has stepped down from his role on Iranian state-backed news channel Press TV. Livingstone presented a book review programme on the highly controversial channel, which was mauled in the press for its coverage of the stoning sentence of the Iranian Sakineh Ashtiani Mohammed. He stepped aside as NatWest confirmed it has frozen the station’s British bank account.

With the chances of Livingstone usurping Boris Johnson as Mayor of London appearing slim, perhaps it is time to start looking for a new job.