Best of the April Fools

We round up the funniest April Fool's stories found in the papers today.

The Guardian is running a blog called ‘Royal Wedding Live’, with updates on the big day including: “the coverage will be helmed by Piers Morgan, sitting on a giant throne suspended from the upper level of Tower Bridge.”

The Telegraph has published details of a Labour memo telling MPs to celebrate Ed Miliband’s wedding with a street party. "As you will now all be aware, Britain will be celebrating an event even more important than the Royal wedding,” it quotes fictional advisor Flora Lopi as saying.

The Independent has announced that Portuguese football star Cristiano Ronaldo is being sold by the Portuguese government to Spain for €160m (£141m), to reduce some of the country’s billions of debt. The Real Madrid winger agreed to “act like a patriot,” it says.

The Mirror has announced that the coalition plans to introduce a fresh air tax to help improve the environment: “Rural folk will have to cough up the most under the new charge – already dubbed a gasp bill,” it confides.

The Daily Express has revealed that a scooter company is developing Zimmer Skateboards for the elderly. It says “it was developed in response to ‘huge demand’ from grandmas and granddads who wanted to take their grandchildren to school, but found they were struggling to keep up the pace.”

The Daily Mail reports that a gang of chickens has taken over a neighbourhood in Lancashire: “Locals were woken by daily by the 4am cacophony and had to pick a path through clusters of marauding chickens whenever they ventured out.”

Right-wing blogger Guido Fawkes has pictorial evidence of rebellion at Eric Pickles’ Department for Communities and Local Government today. EU flags have been replaced by pirate flags and it quotes one DCLG pirate saying; “Yargh, tis not an April Fool, but act of defiance.”