Bankers with a sweet tooth prove costly for City employers

Capi

Capitalist is often emailed with tales of City strife. But this latest jaw-dropping revelation is on the more niche end of the spectrum.

Dentist to the Square Mile’s finest Dr James Goolnik has released a report estimating City firms incur costs of £320,000 per year through dental visits.

However, it seems that some dental-related absences are unavoidable: “One banker was up all night trying to reverse a trading position. Next morning, he was so tired he nodded off and hit his front tooth on the corner of his desk.” Luckily “his bank paid for a new tooth”, assured Goolnik.

City workers accustomed to hopping in a cab and taking a shortcut through the Square Mile by passing through Stonecutter Street might be disappointed to learn that the end of the lane nearest Farringdon Road has been turned into a two-way cycle lane by the City of London.

The firm funding the project was Goldman Sachs – the bank’s Fleet Street offices are just around the corner. City cabbies were strangely silent when The Capitalist asked for comment on the potential problem of congestion. Obviously there are no two-ways about it when it comes to realising which side their bread is buttered on.

Mayor Boris Johnson may be far away in the Middle East at the moment, but those missing a fix of BoJo bumbling can tune into CNBC Meets tomorrow at 10pm, for an interview with the man himself. Clearly tired of being quizzed about his Bullingdon membership, Johnson expressed his gratitude to presenter Tania Bryer for “inviting me to revive these unhappy and embarrassing memories”, but said “the blessed sponge of amnesia has wiped the slate. If I have a regret it’s that I spent so much time fooling around frittering my time at Oxford when I should have focused more on serious stuff.” Nobody deflects a question quite like Boris.