I’ve chosen dishes from all over the place. If this is my last supper, I want to make the most of it, and if that means bending the rules then so be it.
First I’d be travelling to L’Atelier near Covent Garden. It’s a Joel Robuchon restaurant I ate in around 2010. Before my wife and I had the kids, we used to go to a Michelin-starred restaurant to celebrate our birthdays each year. This was one of my favourites – I loved being there and the food was out of this world. We had a five-course tasting menu and everything was exceptional, but for the purposes of this supper, I’m going to go with the beetroot tartare with wholegrain mustard sorbet and fresh herbs, which I can thoroughly recommend.
I’ve chosen two main courses, because I’m greedy. The first is a dish my wife Lucy Gaskell made back in 2013. She’s an ambassador for Women’s Aid and she came up with an idea called Donate Your Plate, where she invited friends round for dinner, and they donated money based on what they thought it was worth. She invited her pals from the TV series Cutting It, so we had Amanda Holden, Sarah Parish, Angela Griffin, Lisa Falkner and Nichola Stevenson, and Lucy cooked one of the most remarkable meals I’ve ever eaten. It was pan-fried halibut with a saffron sauce that was to die for, served with black rice, which I’ve never had before, but has now become very popular. I’d have happily paid 70 or 80 quid for it in a restaurant.
My second main course isn’t so glamorous by a long shot. It’s a thing called a “stonner kebab” from Ruby’s Cafe in Glasgow, which has been dubbed the most dangerous supper in Scotland. I have to admit that I’ve never tried it, so this will be a surprise for me. “Stonner” is a Glaswegian word for erection, and this thing is a pork sausage wrapped in donner meat and coated in not one but two layers of batter, served on a bed of chips. Weighing in at a kilo and a half, it’s 1,000 calories, with 46g of fat. And it only costs £3! It’s a mythical beast, this thing, and people keep mentioning it to me, so I figure I may as well go out with a bang. Being Scottish, I love deep fried stuff, so I can’t die without trying it.
For dessert I’m going homespun again: my granny’s trifle, which was the taste of my childhood. I could go with either my mum’s mum’s or my dad’s mum’s version – they both made a mean trifle. They were quite different, one was boozier, proper big bits of sponge soaked in sherry. The other was a lot smoother, with home made custard and not much booze. They kind of reflected the grannies themselves, come to think of it. Both were special in their own way.
And I want to top it off with a Creme Egg, because it’s about the sweetest thing my teeth can take. It sets them tingling but I love it. I know this sounds like a lot of food, but I’ll keep eating until they drag me away.