Former business secretary Vince Cable and shadow Brexit secretary Keir Starmer have upped the stakes on revelations of childhood naughtiness, putting Prime Minister Theresa May's field revelation to shame.
May told ITV earlier this week that the naughtiest thing she had done was a child was “run through fields of wheat”.
“The farmers weren't too pleased about that,” she added.
May's revelation immediately raised questions of which politicians could top her terrible campaign of slightly annoying farmers, and Cable and Starmer this morning stepped up to the plate.
Speaking on Good Morning Britain, Cable made the intriguing admission “there was an episode with an air rifle” when he was under 10 years old.
“Some of my neighbours windows proved a very tempting target. And I had a brief exchange with the local police officer but it all went away,” Cable said.
“And I grew up as a law-abiding citizen, which I am today,” the Lib Dem hastily added.
Faced with the same question, Starmer proved somewhat more opaque.
“The list is long, and can't be broadcast,” he said, adding: “I've cheated at almost every football game I could ever get my hands on that I wanted to win.”
Pressed on the topic, Starmer admitted he had broken the law but wouldn't specify where his crimes sat on what historians will surely one day label the May-Cable Naughtiness Spectrum.
“I would be a long way further down than running through the wheat field – even possibly further [than Cable],” Starmer said.