When times are desperate, people make rash promises to get their way.
And so it is with Bild, Germany's top selling tabloid, whose front page on Thursday morning was filled with compromises from the EU nation.
After 50 years it said it would finally admit Geoff Hurst’s shot in the 1966 World Cup final did cross the line.
Brilliant from Bild: If Britain stays, we will acknowledge the Wembley goal. pic.twitter.com/OWqrj91YI2— Stig Abell (@StigAbell) June 22, 2016
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Not satisfied? Bild promised that Germans would stop wearing suncream, to make Britons feel a bit better about their annual sunburn affliction on holidays abroad.
The tabloid also said Germans would stop making fun of Prince Charles' ears, willingly play the villain in James Bond films for all eternity, celebrate the Queen's 100th birthday with us - and even use beach towels to reserve the best spots by the hotel pool for Britons abroad.
The Capitalist has contacted vote Leave to ask if these terms weaken the case for a Brexit.
These promises are tempting, and the 1966 World Cup is still an important part of City slickers' lives, but Brexiters remain unmoved.
Asked if these new terms would persuade him to vote Remain and keep his Spanish holiday perks, Panmure Gordon's resident Outer David Buik told The Capitalist: "Not so long as night follows day! Geoff Hurst's goal was good - the Russian ref said it was".
Buik wasn't the only Square Miler affronted by the German tabloid's peace offering. Serial entrepreneur Guy Winterflood (son to City grandee and Winterflood Securities founder Brian), said the German public's acknowledgement of the goal in 1966 makes no difference: "We're trying to rewrite the future, not the past".
He added: "Besides, it was definitely in."
Scottish comms boss and Leave.EU's Brian Monteith thinks the pledge could actually damage diplomatic relations and swing the Leave vote north of the border, where footie fans avoid supporting England wherever possible. The Global Britain director said: "If there's a late swing of a few points to the Leave campaign in Scotland we will put it down to Bild's promise!"