Latest FCO figures show that over the last year almost half a million calls were made to its consular service –which provides emergency help to Britons in trouble overseas.
Last year, a woman holidaying in Lebanon phoned the FCO to ask where she could find an English butler.
Another odd request was made by a confused business traveller to the UK, demanding to see some information on the construction of plug sockets.
One homesick ex-pat also rang the FCO to find out where he could buy proper English bacon (though we're sympathising with him on this one).
Foreign and Commonwealth Office Minister James Duddridge is not amused.
“Our consular staff are a helpful bunch", he said, "but it is important that people remember they are there to help with genuine emergencies and not as an alternative to directory enquiries."
“Every minute they spend handling a call requesting advice on butlers or nudists is time taken away from dealing with life and death cases, so I urge the public to think before picking up the phone.”
You've been warned.