Ho, ho, ho: From Ed Miliband to Wikileaks, here are 10 lol-tastic City-related Christmas cracker jokes

Emma Haslett
Follow Emma
Celebration Crackers Complete Last Minute Christmas Orders
"Er, something something 'elfie' something" (Source: Getty)

Let's face it, the anticipation of opening a Christmas cracker is always better than the rather disappointing result: inevitably, a limp hat, a toy that breaks within minutes and a joke that makes everyone groan.

But groan no more: UKTV comedy channel Gold has come up with the UK's best Christmas cracker jokes. They're topical, they're festive - and they're actually sort of funny.

And because we're City A.M. and we love a rofl as much as the next finance newspaper, we've picked out the 10 most hilarious (kinda, sorta) City-related crackers.

So without further ado, here are the gags that will get your colleagues giggling at the Christmas party...

  1. Why does Ed Miliband like advent calendars? He gets to open the door to number 10
  2. I told my Granddad to go to Amazon for his Christmas shopping. He phoned me two days later from Brazil
  3. Why were Jeremy Clarkson's colleagues excited to try his mulled wine? Because they'd been floored by his punch
  4. Why don't Volkswagen hold Christmas Services? They get the readings wrong
  5. Why was the turkey at the Talk Talk Christmas party such a mess? It was hacked
  6. What do Wikileaks staff have with their Christmas turkey? An anonymous sauce
  7. Why didn't people like the new Apple Mac themed advent calendars? They didn't have any Windows
  8. Why doesn't anyone trust Jeremy Corbyn to put up the Christmas tree? Because it always leans to the left
  9. Who saved Santa the job of creating a naughty list? Ashley Madison
  10. How do we know what Father Christmas has for dinner? He posts it on InSantagram

Related articles