Paddy Power results: The five best quotes - Donald Trump, Ashley Madison, Greek debt crisis

 
Lynsey Barber
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It's that time of year in the corporate earnings calendar when Paddy Power tells the City what's been going on, and business has been a little like Donald Trump's hair and Jeremy Clarkson's steak throwing skills in the first half of the year.

Read more: Paddy Power earnings jump as it unveils Betfair merger

There was some other news, of course, but ever the stunt-lover, the bookie brought more than a grin to the straight-laced world of investor relations with a selection of zing-worthy statements referencing current events. Here are the best quotes from Paddy Power's earnings. Let's just say there were more than a few punter-friendly results which caused some pain for the company...

1. On Donald Trump

"The pain started in quarter one, when football cost us more than a Donald Trump hair transplant. "

2. On Jeremy Clarkson

"Royal Ascot wasn't far behind, and like a steak-starved Jeremy Clarkson, we completely lost the plot when Ryan Moore rode a record nine winners to victory, costing us more than the payroll for an episode of Top Gear."

3. On Greece

"To top it all off, we suffered more football misery at the Champions League final, which left us dispensing cash like Greek ATMs in a 'Carry-on Syriza' caper."

4. On Ashley Madison

"In Australia, the closing weekend of the first half packed in more action than an Ashley Madison first date; the gods of sporting results providing the happy ending." 

5. On Mad Max

"Our nitrous fuelled Australian business continues to move faster than a Mad Max remake, with accelerated momentum and market share gains leaving the competition eating our dust."

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