Boris Johnson's Conservative Party Conference speech: "Semi-Marxist Miliband", "eat the kippers" and "planet zog"

 
Guy Bentley
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Boris Johnson addressed the Tory faithful in Birmingham (Source: Getty)

Conservative favourite and London mayor Boris Johnson has delivered an upbeat speech to the Tory faithful at the party's conference in Birmingham.

With swipes at Ukip defectors, Ed Miliband and Vince Cable, the speech was well-received in a conference hall nervous about the prospects of electoral success and party unity.

Johnson ran through a list of his achievements during his time in office including a fall in crime, Crossrail and new extensions to the Tube network. He praised commitments to build more affordable homes and claimed there was enough space in London to build 400,000 more homes without touching the greenbelt.

The mayor launched a broadside against EU regulation and stuck to the party line, saying only David Cameron could deliver a referendum on Europe. There was nothing new in Johnson's speech, but plenty of jokes to cheer up the Tory faithful.

Here are some of the lines that went down best with the conference hall:

Ed Miliband

The mayor mocked the Labour leader's failure to remember the deficit during his conference speech last week:

You saw the final explosion of the myth that Labour is doomed to succeed.

The Labour leader gave a surreal speech in which he described how he had tried to find material by randomly accosting young people in London parks, desperately hoping for inspiration.

The baggage handlers in his memory went on strike and refused to load the word deficit on to the conveyor belt of his tongue.

Toward the end of his speech he urged fellow Tories to ensure they take the fight to the "unrepentant, unreconstructed, silly semi-Marxist Miliband and Balls".

Scottish referendum

Boris told the audience how pleased he was that London was still the capital city of the UK and said the delegates had "permission to purr", which elicited a painstakingly awkward smile from David Cameron.

London property

The mayor said he was supportive of foreign investment, but he wanted new homes to be sold to Londoners not "oligarchs from planet Zog". However, he was quick to add "I'm not Zogist".

Tories vs. kippers

Boris didn't hold back the barbs for Ukip, who did so much to overshadow the start of the Conservative party conference.

"Are there any quitters or splitters? Anyone feeling a bit yellow around the edges - like a kipper?" Johnson asked.

Quoting William Shakespeare, the mayor said, "he who hath has no spirit for this fight, let him depart".

Referring to the two upcoming by-elections, which will see Ukip and the Tories go head-to head, Johnson told the hall to "fight them on the beaches of Clacton and defeat them on the beaches of Rochester and Strood".

Furthermore, he outlined a novel new fisheries policy "first chuck Salmond overboard, then eat the kippers for breakfast".

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